


Even Angels will Fall

by LuXMavis_173



Category: Borderlands (Video Games), Tales from the Borderlands - Fandom
Genre: Angels, AxE, Gen, M/M, Other, Tales from the Borderlands, borderlands - Freeform, comercial, completely safe, joke, sfw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-03
Updated: 2018-01-03
Packaged: 2019-02-27 23:33:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13258923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LuXMavis_173/pseuds/LuXMavis_173
Summary: Jack has to come to terms with all his unholy antics that he has done to his victims over the years. He is sent to Pandora to do 100,000 good deeds in order to return to the pearly gates of heaven.Then he meets Rhys





	Even Angels will Fall

**Author's Note:**

> This is joke a fanfiction short for Foxbox97 on Tumbler based off of the axe commercial “Even Angels Will Fall”.  
> (Lol if you all like it then maybe I will extend it)

Above all life, in a parallel universe to Pandora, the council of angels held a public courtroom discussion trial. The one on trial was no other than the old king himself.   
“Jack, you have been condemned to the planet Pandora to pay for your sins,” Lilith, the right hand of God, said, standing at the podium. The courtroom was filled with victims of Jack’s less than holy antics.   
Roland, the God of this parallel universe, sat on the throne behind her, observing the man on the courtroom floor, chained in place.   
The courtroom was circular and filled up completely, even the overspill landings outside of the courtroom had standing room only. Those who could not make it in the crowed relied on updates from fellow angels.  
Lilith took a breath. “And for your sins, the court also has decided to relieve you of your wings,” Lilith reported. The courtroom broke out in an uproar of applause. “At first light on the human planet Pandora your wings will be cut from you and you will be cast out until you pay for your sins with 100,000 good deeds.”   
The court was made up Lilith, Maya, Mordecai, and Brick. Roland acted as a tie breaker; even though he was now ruler of this plain, after knocking Jack off his throne.   
Lilith’s lips pressed into a thin line, after a moment she spoke again. “Do you have anything to say for yourself?”  
Handsome Jack was being charged with mass genocide, human endangerment, child abuse, and all that went along with that, and not only murder, because mass genocide was not enough of a charge.  
“It was all a joke,” Handsome Jack said. The court was in an uproar of boos and hisses. “Come’on can’t you all take a joke, it was JOKE.”   
Lilith waved her hand and Brick and Mordecai hoisted Jack up from the armpits and carried him out of the courtroom.   
They dragged him down the hall and tossed him into his holding cell that he had been occupying for the past two weeks.   
Two weeks ago, the angels had their last straw, they dealt with it when Jack was found guilty of locking his daughter away, they dealt with it after they found out that Timmy had plastic surgery to impersonate the Angel King.   
But the last straw, the last straw was Jack unleashed the vault monsters down on Pandora. The Gods were assholes.   
“You could have unchained me,” Jack yelled after them as they slammed the jail doors behind them. “Hey, I’m talking to you. Hey!”   
Jack huffed, defeated, he had to find a way out of here, and a way back on top.   
No one defeated Handsome Jack, no one.  
Jack closed his eyes and leaned the back of his head against the cool stone. A few moments passed and finally Jack spoke up again.   
“So how long are you going to hide in the shadows, Nisha,” Jack asked, not opening his eyes.   
“Hey, handsome, what has got you all upset,” Nisha emerged from the wall.   
Well it was more of a portal from the underworld but to the untrained eye it looked as if she materialized out of the wall.   
“I am going to be banished to the human planet tomorrow,” Jack snorted. “Not like you don’t already know that though.” Jack grit his teeth. “Banished from my OWN kingdom.”   
Nisha laughed. “Well, not really. All you did was kill the guy before you and take his throne.”  
“Tessler had it coming,” Jack interrupted.  
“Yes, but all Roland did was dethrone you like you did to Tessler,” Nisha snickered. “You can’t really be mad about that.”   
She closed the space between them and laid a perfectly painted nail under Jack’s chin, turning his face to hers. “I know a place where you can rule all and no one would dare challenge you.”   
Jack jerked his face away, “Heat makes me break out in a sweat.” Jack snorted again. This was not the first time that Nisha had tried to woo him and joining her kingdom. “Not interested in sharing a throne, Nisha.”   
Jack tugged on the chains that bound his hands behind him. His wings were uncomfortably pressed against his back. Well he might as well enjoy them while he had them, for tomorrow he would not have them anymore and maybe never again.   
“I could get those off of you,” Nisha said, reading Jack’s mind. “And I could even replace those wings with something…more fashionable.” Nisha gave Jack a wolfish grin.   
Jack closed his eyes and turned his face away. “I’ll get back on the throne my own way, without your or anyone else who works for you, help.”   
“And how are you going to do 100,000 good deeds,” Nisha snapped back. “You wont even know anyone down there. No one is going to accept help from a stranger.”  
“I can do it within two years,” Jack said, looking back at Nisha. “No one says “no” to this handsome face.” Jack flashed her his well known smile.   
Nisha smiled. “We’ll see about that.” She backed up and dissolved into the shadows once again.   
Jack snorted. That demon overlord didn’t know when to stop.  
***   
The sun was just peaking over the horizon when Jack was dragged out of his cell and ordered to walk to the execution block.   
“What, what is this, I thought we agreed on banishment,” Jack said, stammering. He was shoved down on his knees in front of Lilith and Roland. Many of those who attended court was out again in the early moments of the sun, to watch Jack’s sentenced execution.   
“It has been decided that taking only your wings was not enough penance, you must be branded for your sins as well,” Lilith stated to Jack and to the crowd. “Roland and I have decided that taking the one thing that you value most will make up for it.”  
Jack gulped and flicked his gaze down quickly then back up at Lilith.   
Angel covered her face and turned away. Gaige stood by her and patted her on the shoulder.  
Roland stepped forward, he reached into the fire that was burning to the left of Jack. Jack’s eyes widened as Roland pulled out a brand form the flames.   
Jack struggled against his bindings. Brick and Maya held him steady.   
Jack will forever remember was the arch coming closer, burning pain, and warm liquid running down his face. The sensation of being branded haunts his dreams late at night; those nights are exceptionally worse for him.   
No matter how many good deeds he does, he can’t get the smell of his own burning flesh out of his nose.   
***  
When Jack awoke he was lying on his back in the sand. There was a burning sensation radiating from his face. Jack reached up and immediately regretted touching the sensitive skin there.   
He howled in pain and jerked his hand back.  
Pain then hit him tenfold.   
Jack sat up a little too quickly, felt woozy but caught himself anyway. He could not handle laying on his back again.   
Jack sucked in gaps of air, the dry air burned his throat, his mouth tasted like sand. Jack ran his tongue on the roof of his mouth. He then steadied himself for what he did next.   
Jack tried to move his wings. There was no response.   
Instead it was shocking pain radiating through his back.   
Jack bit back a cry.   
Taking another breath, he stood up shakily, glanced around and saw no identification of where he was, and started walking.   
***  
It had been two days before he finally found traces of civilization. Though what he found was actually a deserted gas station, it remarkably still had running water.   
And a medicine cabinet mirror.   
Jack soaked up the dirty brown water, his cracked lips thanked him. When the water finally ran clear, Jack splashed it on his face, the scars stung,   
There was a grimy mirror hanging above the stained sink, it was cracked and withered with age, but it could still reflect.   
Jack scooped a handful of water up and splashed it on the mirror, leaving streaks through the caked-on dirt.   
Jack took a breath and looked up.   
What stared back was a monster.   
His first thoughts, he couldn’t believe it, that wasn’t him. This wasn’t his face, how was he supposed to get people to trust him now, with a face like this, how was he going to get back on the throne, with a face like this, how, how, how,   
“Hello, Handsome,” Jack’s skin prickled at that voice. “Or not-so-handsome anymore.”  
Jack turned around to face Nisha.   
“Ah, yes,” Nisha said. “There he is.” Nisha’s form shimmered in the moonlight that spilled into the room. Pooling between the two spirits. Now not so different from one another.   
“You knew about this,” Jack stated. “And you didn’t tell me. I thought we had a pact.”  
“Well, I might have had an idea,” Nisha said, shrugging. “I mean you never asked.” Nisha snickered. “And what pact. You refuse to join me.” She ran a pink tongue over sharp teeth and winked at him.  
Jack turned, grasped the mirror on the wall, and threw it at Nisha. It passed right through her, hit the opposite wall, and sending the cosmetic continents all over the floor, shattering the rest of the mirror.   
“You can’t hit a hallucination, darling,” Nisha said. “I’ll come back when you have calmed down.”   
Nisha then dissolved.   
Jack gritted in anger and then winced in pain. He looked down and saw that some of the contents were healing solutions and bandages.  
After bandaging up his face half hazard way and being almost completely blind in one eye, Jack fumbled around the rest of the gas station.   
He found a can of peaches on one of the shelves and a rusty knife in one of the drawers. After cutting open the lid of the peaches, and almost cutting off his thumb in the process, Jack pocketed the knife for later.  
He stuck his fingers into the mushy continents and ate it like it was a five-course delicacy. The sludge cooled his burning throat.   
When it hit his stomach though, the peaches were sent right back up and Jack was back at square one.   
***  
Jack ventured out again when it was dark, the sand stung less and as a result his wing stumps hurt a lot less.   
But the night came with it’s own dangers, that night a skag pup attacked Jack. Luckily the banished angel still had his rusty knife and put an end to the menace.   
Jack dined on skag stakes for dinner.   
He still had yet to find any civilization, doing these 100,000 deeds were going to be harder than expected.   
Even for someone with a hero complex.  
***  
It took him a night to finally make it to a village. This one was run by a company called Maliwan; who apparently was boot legging guns from another company called Torgue.   
Jack tried to see if he could offer any help to any one there, but they shunned him out, eventually Jack stumbled upon New Haven.   
He wondered around New Haven, asking anyone if there was anything he could do to help them out.   
As his face healed more people spoke to him. They paid no mind to the scars, many residents of New Haven were scarred up from bandit attacks and other accidents, they eventually allowed this new comer to help.   
Jack did everything form painting houses, to running errands to even watching human spawns while their parents were busy. He did at least 10 good deeds a day, sometimes more, sometimes up to twenty, if the good deed was short, and Jack didn’t sleep.   
And with every good deed a wing bone grew an inch.   
Then came the day that he learned that there were these people, bandits, called Crimson Lances, that took over Old Haven, Jack told the leader of New Haven that he would take care of the Lances if he agreed that it would be a good deed.   
The mayor agreed, mostly expecting Jack not to return.   
Jack not only cleared out the bandit hideout, but the deed was so profitable, payment in good deeds that is, that Jack became something of vigilante, only payment was agreeing that this hit was a good deed and it benefited the majority.   
Finally, his feathers started sprouting.   
Finally, after deaths of many guilty humans, and helping out many humans. Jack finally had a full set of wings.   
Five years later,   
He could finally return home. And with vengeance.   
***  
“Hey, cutie, you need help with the ladies,” a woman said, appearing by Rhys’ side. She wore a wicked grin, with purple lipstick matching her purple nails.  
Vaughn and Rhys were both standing in the mall, taking a much-needed shopping day from a very hectic work week.   
Rhys shrugged. “Uh,” Rhys read the sale ladies’ name tag. “Nisha, I am doing a-alright.”   
Nisha winked at him, “I sure you are, but let me show you our new line of products,” Nisha linked an arm with Rhys and lead him away from the game store he was about to enter and to her kiosk set up in the middle of the busy mall hallway.   
Rhys sent a panic look over his shoulder at Vaughn. Vaughn shrugged, waved at him and went into the store.  
Rhys turned around just as Nisha was shoving a canister into his hand. “This is from our axe line, this one is called “Peace”. Rhys blinked at it, “well I don’t know.”   
Nisha shoved it under Rhys’ nose and he coughed. Then sneezed.   
Rhys shook his nose and shoved that one away.  
“Nope, not that one, huh,” Nisha said. Nisha then laid another can in Rhys’ hand. “Try this one.”  
Rhys sniffed it. This one actually smelled nice.   
“It’s on the house,” Nisha said.   
Vaughn hollered for Rhys from the game store. He nodded at him then turned back around to thank the lady.   
But she was gone.  
Kiosk and all.  
Rhys slowly backed away from the strange occurrence and tucked the can into his hoodie pocket.  
***  
Jack was at the gates.   
The golden gates that he dreamed about. The gates that he once knew, he was going home, home.   
The gates that remained shut for him so long were finally going to be open.   
He was short of breath. The gates started to slide open, slowly, white clouds pillowed out.   
And that is when Jack fell.  
***  
“Bro, do you really think that’s going to help your cause at all,” Vaughn teased. He looked at the axe can.   
Rhys shrugged. “Hey, I like the smell.” Rhys sprayed the can across his bare chest.   
***  
Jack came crashing down and landed face down on the apartment floor. This time he was awake for the whole trip.   
Jack pushed himself up, shook his head, pain skirted across his vision, he climbed to his feet. Fixed his halo, flexed his wings, and glanced around the room.   
Jack’s eyes landed on Rhys.   
He smiled. “Hey there.”   
Rhys glanced down at the label and read, “Even Angels Will Fall”.


End file.
